It’s an unwritten rule that women can be complicated and hard to understand, but men don’t really do their job well either. They say men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, and there is truth in what wisemen said. They do stuff so differently, but women can also hint at their complicated behaviour. Sometimes, they do this so subtly, that men don’t really have an idea of what is going on. In the end, men end up having 100 more questions and feeling more confused than ever. Well, I guess women should be more obvious, then?
Here are some of the funniest struggles of men failing to understand women. When they were so simple and obvious, though…
1. Women have a reason when they tell you they broke up with their boyfriend
Here is a confession of a man who just didn’t see the obvious thing. Wait until the very end of this story…
“In high school, I walked into a classroom and a very attractive girl that was an acquaintance at most came up to me and said “djw, did you know that Rodrigo and I broke up?”
I said, “oh, sorry to hear that,” and went on my way.
Then I spent the rest of the day and night thinking about that. Why the hell would SHE tell me that?
The next time I saw her, I asked her what she was doing that weekend and she said, “nothing, do you want to go to a movie?” That was the moment that I realized what was happening. And I wound up getting a date out of it, and eventually, a family.”
2. Let’s take a shower to “save water”!
When your girlfriend “cares” about saving the environment, but also reveals something strange about you.
“I was living with my then-boyfriend a few years ago. Feeling a little flirtatious, I suggested we could take a shower together, you know, to save water, wink wink.
His response? “Why? We don’t pay for water.”
3. Don’t leave when she tells you to leave!
“Girl kisses me in the dark in her bedroom at her birthday party. “You should leave before we do something stupid,” she whispers. I nod and leave.”
4. Decoding a flirtatious pick up line is hard
“Can I say one I was oblivious to?
I was out of town, chatting to a girl at a bar. We figured out I was 13 inches taller than her. She said, “That’s funny, I’m going on a date with a guy who is 13 inches taller than me tomorrow. And I’ll probably f*ck him after.”
My response? “Well, that’s a weird coincidence!”
I didn’t figure it out until I was on a plane home.”
5. Please do some research on women’s pick up lines, guys!
‘Early interaction with my boyfriend-
Me: “That suit looks great on you. It would look better on the floor.”
Him: “That would wrinkle the suit.”‘
6. Sometimes, women need to be more persistent
‘”Hey, there’s room in my tent if you want to join me”
“Thanks, but I brought my own tent!”
And that’s the story of why my friends think I’m socially retarded.’
7. When she is literally begging you to kiss her, but you still don’t get it
“Watching TV in my living room at roughly 2am, in the dark
Her: applying strawberry lip gloss.
Me: why are you putting on lip gloss?
Her: strawberry lip gloss tastes so nice.
Me: haha youre weird
Her: want to taste?
Me: nah I already know what it tastes like
Commence several years of late night self loathing and regret”
8. Home alone
Girl: Are you going to that party?
Me: Yeah for a little bit. Probably gonna be boring.
Girl: Yeah…was thinking of just staying in.
Me: Probably a good plan.
Girl: So yeah…I’ll just be here tonight. Roommates are gone.
Me: Sounds nice; my roommates never leave.
Girl: Ok. So. I’ll be here all alone in my apartment. If the party sucks.
Me: Very good.”
9. Nevermind, they don’t get it
‘One time I was texting my bf and told him that I bought a vibrator for the nights he was away at work or something rather. his exact response was, “oh cool, what color?” I sent him a pic of it and he replied with “can you put it up your butt too?”. I sent him a text replying, “come over and find out” and he replied two minutes later, “nevermind, I just Googled it”‘
10. “The children need me!”
“A few years ago I was working at my elementary school’s annual spring fling. I volunteered to be the school mascot for the morning shift. It was a boring job of feeling like a pedophile the whole time because little kids would hug you constantly. It was nearing noon when a girl my age, 17, stole the bear head right from my own head and ran away with it. I ran after her and followed her into an empty classroom with the lights off and the shudders shut tightly. She said something like “oh looky here, mr papa bear, I’m holding your head, I’m a bad girl” I was pissed she took it and wasn’t thinking so I, being oblivious to her remark, took the head yelled “THE CHILDREN NEED ME” and stormed out.”