You know how there’s a saying that the clothes don’t make the person? Well, that’s kinda wrong when it comes to shoes. Everyone can clearly tell what sort of person you are just by looking at your shoes, sorry!
We just can’t keep some things secret I guess. However much we try, our shoes will scream our secrets to the world, revealing random passersby with clues to our personality. Our deepest fears, our most secret hopes, our most shameful desires… All on public display by the type of shoe you wear!
Unbelievable! And here I thought that it was actually our pets that did that. They’re basically these goofy, unassuming antennas radiating secret codes to everyone who sees them about what kind of person we are. And now it’s not just pets, or the lack of them, now shoes also join up on the espionage project! (I guess this makes sense as to why our pets so often hate our shoes and destroy them – there seems to be a secret spy-rivalry of which we were not aware of.)
But back to today’s traitor, the shoe. Thanks to the valiant efforts of one counter-espionage agent going under the name of Ghostify, we now have a better idea of what our shoes have been saying of us. This brave human (or maybe it’s actually a dog, or a cat?) collected these shameful descriptions and put them up on Imgur.
Here is the super-secret information of what each shoe says of each person, courtesy of TheChive, which got the sensitive data delivered to them first. Well, all I can say is… If the shoe fits… Read and weep.