Sigh. We all encounter people who manipulate us at some point or another, or sometimes all too often. Sure, everyone is sort of blind to their own manipulative tactics, which are mostly unconscious, but we still need to protect ourselves from the worst offenders out there. And you know who makes the top three list of the ‘worst offenders out there’? Narcissists.
Some dose of narcissism is healthy to maintain your boundaries, but when it’s excessive, it really gets pathological and harmful to others.
Yeah, and I bet they actually feel proud at themselves now, reading this with glee and rolling their eyes simultaneously. Congratulations, person, we are talking about you again. Indeed, the world may revolve around you – for all the wrong reasons.
But for everyone else out there, who can often find yourselves lied to, hurt and used by these people, here are some tips to defend yourselves (courtesy of AuntyAcid):
1. A narcissist is always egocentric.
Once their ego comes under attack, they won’t stop defending it. They are in love with themselves so much, that they can’t consider any critique or suggestion about themselves. In their world, they’re absolutely perfect, and the other person is just wrong. Also, pay attention when they’re telling a story – they’ll exaggerate their own actions in it.
2. They’re more accomplished than you.
Did you achieve something? Too bad – the narcissist has already been there, done that. Sorry.
3. They’re many-faced.
You know just a VERSION of them. They’re one person in front of you, but a different one in front of someone else. Or behind your back. Pay attention to this, especially if their words and actions match. A manipulator will say they’ll do one thing, but they will actually do something else – and hope you won’t notice or mind.
4. They love to play the victim.
Like, even when they make a mistake, or even when they hurt someone. They’ll never accept blame or responsibility.
5. When pushed into a corner, they’ll fight dirty.
And will often involve other people in the fight. This is called ‘triangulation’ – when you figure out their crap, they’ll drag someone else to ‘testify’ against you. Often, if they don’t opt for that option, they’ll go straight for low blows, belittling your character, pulling out something hurtful from your past, and so on.
6. They always blame others.
Whenever this fake person feels under a threat, they’ll try to shift the blame to someone else.
7. They’re the best – and they never apologize.
The problem is they’re often very unaware of their unrealistic beliefs. They are absolutely convinced they are perfect, can do no wrong, and that their ends justify any means – because their supposed goal made sense to them. It may take several fights with a narcissist until they even scratch the surface of their wrongdoing. Often, they will claim that it is you who are sick, or wrong, or guilty, and they’re just… right. Always right. And therefore, will never say sorry or apologize.
What for, after all? They can do no wrong.