Ah, Disneyland – or as some like to believe, without a grain of irony – the heaven on Earth! If only that was true… I guess we can only benefit if one day the wildest dreams of all the fanboys became suddenly true. Or, on second thought, better not, because – reality check.
Speaking of reality checks, especially when applying them to fantasies, something is rotten in the kingdom of Disneyland, as AuntyAcid reports. Usually, it’s this place where everyone is in a good mood, everyone is laughing, everyone is so so happy, so happy to see you, so… Wrong.
And not even those huge cake-like castles will convince me that the creep show of the eternally rigid smile is something I should be looking forward to.
Apparently, it’s impossible to be sad there, but I’m not so sure about that. Anyways, due to the status of the place as being so so happy, it is shrouded in an aura of mystery and speculation. There are tons of rumors of what actually happens when the park closes. Is that army of surreally happy employees still happy after their shift ends?
Or, does something else happen? Well… There’s one rumor about the staff.
Namely, it’s about what the employees of Disneyland can, and cannot do.
According to multiple anonymous ex-members of staff, the employees are not allowed to wear too much, nor too little makeup. But also, facial hair is forbidden (so they all have to look like kids, you see), and you’re also not allowed to have a hair that’s too long or too short. Tattoos, of course, are absolutely out of the question.
The sources report that the rules are so harsh, that it even ruined their love for the Disney movies. Understandably, most of the people who’d even want to work in Disneyland are obviously huge Disney fans, so it’s understandable that the job would actually damage their appreciation for the brand.
One of the especially absurd rules is that they have to use a very specific gesture if they have to point to something or show someone the way.
The forced smiles, of course, are another part of the job description. What, your heart got crushed today because your partner left you in a terrible way? SMILE, CAST MEMBER. Someone in your family died? No one cares!
Of course, in a way, reality is the enemy of Disneyland. And logically, it is banished.
But what of the employees? Well… It’s a hard job, I guess, but someone has to do it. I definitely can’t – but if you think you can, then hey – more power to you. I’ll buy something from you next time I visit Disneyland.
But when the job in Fantasyland inevitably gets you down one fine day, I’ll have to say – I told you so.