There is good and evil in every one of us. It is the choices that we make and the impulses we decide to act on that determine who we are. But when someone makes a conscious effort to go down the wrong path, no matter how many people they have to run over to get what they want, sometimes the best we can do is just protect ourselves.
It is very hard to deal with an evil and abusive person. The consequences from these interactions, both physical and emotional, could leave you scarred for life. The best option is to avoid any contact with such people. But how to recognise them?
There are some personality traits that are typical for evil people. If you recognise these signs in your partner, get the hell away from that relationship! Take a look at this list of twelve things common for abusive people.
1. Denying Reality
If reality doesn’t suit them, then reality is wrong. Scientifically proven, widely accepted, and completely logical arguments are no use against these people. They are right and it is impossible to convince them of the contrary.
2. Twisting Facts
They are always right and they can prove it. They will take any ‘facts,’ no matter how ridiculous or outrageous, that confirm their opinions and theories, and use them to paint themselves in a better light, to make themselves look smarter and better. Facts that go against their point of view will be completely twisted around.
3. Withholding Information
They are terrified of losing you. They will resort to omitting certain facts, bending the truth, and even outright lying, if it means they will avoid you discovering something that might change your perspective of them.
Anything they can, they will use against you. They will find out things about you and they will twist them in such a way as to make you feel insecure, afraid, and alone. Then they will come to you as heros, offering their love and support, comforting you and making sure you truly believe they are the only ones who are ever going to be there for you.
5. Constant Lying
They are compulsive liars. Unable to tell even a simple story without adding a tiny little fact that isn’t true. By lying to you, they create a whole world in which they can keep you under control. They are also experts at eliciting your compassion and sympathy by admitting to lying to you, and explaining their reasons behind it with more lies.
6. Feel No Remorse
Remorse is alien to them. Who cares about the people they’ve hurt? They are planning on doing it again! After all, other people are just a means to an end. They don’t matter. The only thing they are good for is being useful. But once their use is at an end, they are easily discarded.
7. Avoiding Responsibility
You will never hear a word of apology from them, simply because they will never admit to being guilty of anything. They avoid taking responsibility like the plague! Offense is their best defense: they will immediately redirect any blame to other people, the minute they feel in danger of it falling on their own shoulders.
They are masterminds when it comes to plotting and scheming. Always ten steps ahead of everyone else, they know exactly what to do, and which buttons to push to make you feel inferior and worthless.
9. Fair-Weather Friends
They will help you, but only if there is something in it for them. Don’t worry, they will be right by your side in times of prosperity, but when you really need them to step up and support you when things are rough, don’t hold your breath, they won’t be there for you.
10. Steal Your Time
They’re selfish and feel like they must be the centre of your universe. They must always be the most important thing for you. So if they notice you’re in a hurry and that there is somewhere you must be, they will decide that’s best time to engage you in conversation. Don’t let them get away with this. It may seem rude to you, but interrupt them before thay make you lose complete track of time.
11. Double Lives
They are not two-faced: they have as many faces as acquaintances. They change their colours more often than a chameleon, always presenting themselves differently to different people. But at some point they start making mistakes, just tiny slips, which will eventually enable everyone to see them for who they really are.
12. Very Controlling
They are control freaks. At any given moment, they must have the upper hand: this is the reason for the constant lying. If they see you are trying to gain their trust and become their friend, they will immediately turn possessive and controlling.
So, try to stay as far away from people like these as you can. Or try talking with someone you trust, some one that can help you. Always remember, you are not alone, you are important, and you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.