Children are our future. We all want what is best for them. We want them to be happy and what better way to make your child happy than to get them a shiny new toy? But more than happy, we want them to be safe and as it turns out, a lot of toys are far from it. In fact, some are extremely dangerous.
According to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, in 2012 alone, around 265,000 children had sustained toy-related injuries. An additional number of adults were also hurt by toys not designed for their size and/or weight.
Toy safety is regulated by numerous government bureaus and commissions, but it seems it’s not enough, for every year there are reports of thousands and thousands of children injured by their own toys! Make sure you take a look at this list of some incredibly dangerous toys, and be very careful when selecting that birthday present for your little one.
U-238 Atomic Energy Lab
How about playing with radioactive materials? I wonder who thought that was a good idea? Oh, that’s right: it was the same guy who came up with Gilbert Glass Blowing Kit…
Equipped with three types of live uranium, this Lab also provides you with a Geiger counter, because you know, it’s not really science unless you measure it.
This one is very versatile in that it offers you different ways to get hurt. The hot plastic trays can burn you, it’s a fire hazard, and if the fire is not enough to finish you, then the toxic fumes created when mixing the ingredients definitely will.
Gilbert Glass Blowing Set
The world in the 1950’s must’ve been a completely crazy place. Apparently, people in that time thought that letting your child heat glass to a temperature of over 500°C was a good idea. And what about the chances of the glass getting broken? It’s a learning experience, son, every kid must know how to blow glass…
Admittedly, throwing darts is a lot of fun. Not so much if you have a bunch of kids who at any moment could start throwing flying metal spikes at each other, instead of at the target. And here’s a fun fact for you: the original steel tipped lawn darts were estimated to have had an impact force of 10,500 kilograms of pressure. That is enough to pierce a human skull. So there you go.
Empire Little Lady Stove
A woman’s place is in the kitchen, right? That may not be the way people think today, but they certainly did in the 1950s. So they made sure little girls started practicing at an early age with this super cool Easy Bake oven. Except it was anything but cool, seeing as it could reach a temperature of over 300°C. Just for comparison, real ovens reach up to 260°C.
Aqua Dots are small beads with which you could create whatever you want. You just put a little water on them and they would stick into whatever shape you want them too. So where’s the catch? Well, they are toxic. If ingested, they transform into GHB (gamma-Hydroxybutyrate), the date rape drug. And these toys are still in stores…
Trampolines are fun right? How about mini-trampolines for your feet? Even more fun! Well, not really. For one, it’s really easy to break your ankle while jumping on these bad boys, and secondly, they are made of so many sharp little metal pieces that they are more like a cross between a trampoline and a bear trap.
We already mentioned toy ovens being very dangerous, but this one is especially vicious. It was designed in such a way that it first caught and trapped your fingers and then burned them. There is no escaping the Oven of Doom! Mwahahaha!
Aqua Leisure Inflatable Baby Boats
This is actually not a bad idea. Put your kid in this boat and just relax in the pool. However, they were very poorly made. The leg straps teared easily, which resulted in nearly 30 babies slipping through and almost drowning. It was discovered that the manufacturer had been aware of this issue for 6 years and decided to do nothing about it. The product was recalled and the company was fined for $650,000.
CSI: Investigation Forensics Lab Kit
Asbestos and tremolite are known to cause cancer. So it’s horrifying to find them in the finger printing equipment in these Lab Kits.
You’ve been busted, company!
Snacktime Cabbage Patch Kids
Don’t bite the hand that feeds you! Unfortunately, this doll didn’t know that, as it was prone to start chewing on your fingers or hair as well. And when it got going, it never stopped.
Super Blast Balls
Ever wanted to shoot a cap but didn’t feel like using a cap gun? Well, now you can! You can set off these little balls in your hands and they will spark and pop! In your hands!
Sky Rangers Park Flyer Radio-Controlled Airplane
Here’s another example of an exploding toy. Really, a lot of times they would go off in your hand just as you were about to launch them.
Zulu Blow Gun
Honestly, every single small toy is a choking hazard. What child wouldn’t put a tiny object in their mouth? But, creating a toy that is basically a long tube which contains a small item that you have to put in your mouth is just asking for trouble.
Bird of Paradise Slingshot
A: Let’s give children a way to fire razor sharp objects across the room!
B: You mean like guns?
A: No, no, not guns, I woudn’t give a gun to a child! Slingshots!
This one resulted in seven adults and a teenager becoming paralyzed or injuring their necks. As it turned out the slide wasn’t long enough to accomodate the weight or size of adults and the abrupt end of the slide could damage your spine permanently. This is why, the Consumer Product Safety Commission, in 1993, warned adults and teenagers not to use this toy.
Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun
Ever wanted to feel like a secret agent and have your very own hidden weapon? How about putting a cap gun in your belt buckle? It could go off at any moment and injure your… sensitive area… but where’s the fun without a little danger, eh?
Battlestar Galactica Colonial Viper
Behind every warning label there is a story. Unfortunately, this one is tragic. In 1978, a boy passed away after shooting himself in the throat with this toy. Since then, every toy small enough to be ingested has been labeled with the Choking Warning.
This toy is a another choking hazard. At first it seems harmless. I mean, what’s so dangerous about dolls with magnetized clothes which you could remove and put on as you like? Well, I’ll tell you: those magnets were really small and what do children do with small items? They eat them. And magnets being magnetic and all, will always try to meet, no matter the tissue or organs that get in their way.
They’re so beautiful! Faeries flying and dancing in the sky! So pretty! Until they decide they had enough of spinning around and launch into the skies searching for freedom before suddenly plumetting down to earth at the speed of light.