Raising a teenager has always been really challenging, especially nowadays. If you’ve even lived with a teenager for a short while, you’d know that it can get frustrating even. Fortunately, the world has psychology experts who have a few pieces od advice, once it comes to raising a teen and keeping your cool at the same time.
Here are the three things that you shouldn’t never do to a teenager, courtesy of Awkwardmom.
Be constantly unavailable
Of course, nowadays the parent have less and less time to spend with their children but even the stay-at-home parents can be guilty of being either emotionally unavailable or just plain distracted. The experts agree that the teenagers actually might like the lack of attention, this behavior can lead to depression and detachment.
It is really challenging to get teenagers to talk and open up about their love lives, their problems with friends and school but it is not impossible. Aha Parenting advices that a no-pressure technique works best. Here is what they advise: “Find ways to be in proximity where you’re both potentially available, without it seeming like a demand. This may seem obvious, but stating your availability invites contact that might not otherwise occur: “I’ll be in the study working if you want me” or “I have to run to the grocery store, but don’t hesitate to call my cell phone if you need me.”
Dismiss their ambitions
Teenagers have dreams and aspirations in life too, and whether they’re big or small, their parents should not dismiss their ambitions. In fact, it is rather the opposite, they should help them achieve their goals.
But, what if your child wants to be a photographer and he or she is actually really talented for science? Even the physics teacher thinks that they actually could get a college scholarship to a distinguished university.
One of the things that many parents do is push their children into their career decisions.
If you find yourself in a situation like this, you should follow the advice of Robert Hellman, a Manhattan career consultant, and teacher at NYU. He disclosed for the The New York Times that the key to assisting your child is to get them to recall the top seven situations in their lives that were most impactful for them.
Then, ask your teen these questions: “What is it that you enjoyed about this? What do you feel you did best? Why did you do it? What was your relationship in those activities with other people?”
As simple as it seems, this exercise will manage to build trust and communication between the parents and the child. Also, it will help them in making the important life decisions.
Experts say that constantly criticize the teenagers will actually make things worse. An Austin- psychologist, Carl Pickhardt, PhD., admits that even though it is tempting to criticize them whenever they are not behaving, actually, the parents should recognize the opposition as a natural form of development.
Even though the parents should correct their children when they wrong it doesn’t mean that they are allowed to use disparaging language towards them. In an article in Psychology Today, Pickhardt states that it is a parent’s role to “not attack character, but decisions.”
Let’s say if your child is “messy” – you could say something like this, “We know that you dislike doing chores more now that you are older, but we still need to have them done.”
This would definitely improve the parent-child relationship even though it might not garner immediate results.