Ah, the good old differences between Americans and the British. Is it a cab or a taxi? The subway or the tube? Color or coloUr? These are the dilemmas that make every English language learner experience a mild panic attack, anxious about which country to side with.
Do you go with the original, but pretentious sounding Brits? Or lean in with the always hip, but unsophisticated Americans?
At least the Americans have more nukes, and generally experience more awe than the British when they visit Europe, their old, forgotten grandmother. And thanks to AuntyAcid, today we’re going to inspect that specific American phenomenon – being dazed, confused and surprised by many British things. Let’s begin, old chap!
1. UK streets are older than America itself. MUCH older.
As is most of Europe. Talk about culture shock!
2. British plugs are basically lethal weapons
Watch your step old chap!
3. British houses are squeezed like sardines in a can!
Unlike America, people on the old continent didn’t have all that spacious land to settle on. We had to squeeze in the same space for millennia!
4. Brits have hot and cold water faucets – separately
Now, I’m European too, but I find this so weird I just might be American! But here’s the deal: after WW2, many British houses added an extra water storage tank in their attic. To make it warmer, the water from the tank would be heated by a special heater. However, it could happen that the water in the extra tank would spoil or go bad so it wasn’t safe to drink. The solution? Well, don’t mix the hot water (from the tank!) with the ordinary one! But you know what, Britain? It’s not the World War 2 anymore!
5. Brits, unlike most Europeans, don’t have mailboxes
The postman can just slip the envelope through the letterbox. The reason? The Islanders have no space for their lawns!
6. Wanna buy a place in London? Sell your kidney. And your entire family.
That’ll be $400 per week for that tiny room, ole chap! To be fair, this is mostly true of London – the rest of the country offers fairly affordable prices.
7. A summer? What do you mean, chap? *sips tea*
Ah, never mind!
8. This is how they dry clothes in the UK.
It’s mostly a European thing, to be fair.
9. Brits have their washing machines in the kitchen.
Again, I’m not American, but this is creeping me out too! Putting your dirty underwear anywhere NEAR the space you prepare food? Are you out of your mind old chap?!
10. Need light in the bathroom? Just pull that string.
So you need to fumble and fumble and fumble in the dark… Sigh.
11. Due to lack of space, toilets usually end up under the stairs.
It’s practical, to be honest.
12. Their apartments are called ‘flats’
They’re usually blocky, ugly, and low-cost. Again, it’s not that big of an island. The UK is Japan fifty years ago.
13. Having a basement is the exception, not the rule
Because where would you dig? Down your ancestor’s graves? Ha, ha. I suck at British humor…