Do you remember whether you used to favor one of your parents more back when you were a kid or a teenager? Or you still do, maybe? Let me just say that, it is totally common. There are lots of factors which take part when this happens. Recently, a website which is devoted to parenting, carried a poll with this topic. The results showed 90% of the interviewed parents explained that, at some point, their kids favored one parent over the other.
If you are a parent, and you are reading this, we suggest you don’t take it personally. It’s totally normal for kids to feel that way. Even though it may affect you and hurt your feelings in some way or another, below we are going to explain some of the reasons why this happens. Find out how to deal with it.
Think of ideas to restore the bond with your child
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Think of what your kids love doing most. Engage with them in the activities they prefer the most if you feel like the bond between you two, which you feel has been lost for some reason. It can be sports, arts or anything the two of you enjoy doing. The thing here is to spend more quality time together in order for you to feel connected.
Showing love and appreciation for your child is important
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It’s possible that such feelings might trigger anger or disappointment in you, but don’t reflect such emotions in your child. Let alone in your partner. Love, respect and communication are important. Avoid negative criticism directed to your child, because that will only make things worse. There are more efficient ways to cope with the situation. So, be wise and patient.
Why children might prefer one parent over the other?
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If one partner engages in activities which their children love more and is there when they need help or feel down, the child surely is going to feel more connected to that parent. This can be mend. Pay attention to what you are missing out when it comes to taking care of your child. Sometimes though, you might be doing everything right, yet the child will feel more connected to the other parent. Don’t blame yourself immediately.
Parenting style can have a finger in the pie
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If you are being the strict rule setter there’s no wonder why your child might be seeing you like the less favorite one. Try to balance your approach by being more relaxed and permissive sometimes. Talk to your partner about the roles in different areas of parenting.
Sometimes a child’s favoritism may be connected to the parenting styles you and your partner employ. Analyze the roles.
Communicate with your partner
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Don’t take it personal by keeping your feelings unexpressed. Talk to your partner about this. It’s important you two find the solution together. When spending time with the kid, the favored parent should try to say something like “Daddy/Mommy really loves us! Aren’t we lucky to have him/her?”
It is important doing things as a family
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The greatest meaning of group activities is that it helps your family connect more. In order to turn the kid’s attention toward the less favored parent, and make the family ties stronger this would be the perfect solution. Go to the cinema together or spend a day out in nature. Picnics are a wonderful way to bond.
One thing to keep in mind is to make sure for both of you to have one-on-one time with the child.
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