Some days you just need a little something to give you a good chuckle or two. You may be down on your luck, someone made you angry, or you’re just not having a good day and you’re not sure why. If you think going out and being productive to try and take your mind off things is too much work, then maybe just scrolling through a list of funny tweets could be just the thing you need.
Sometimes people are just effortlessly funny, and thankfully, they decide to share it with the rest of us. Here’s a collection of funny tweets that will definitely get a chuckle out of you, no matter how bad your day is going.
1. Pettiness at its finest
Some guy just honked at me to leave my parking space faster, so now I’ll just have to sit here until both of us are dead.
— Alex (@YourYakiri) November 17, 2016
2. It’s true, every time…
[me passing literally any dog] wow there it is,, the world’s best dog
— beth mccoll (@imteddybless) October 27, 2016
Source: Beth mccoll
bananas are technically berries
almonds are seeds
avocados are mammals
most cucumbers are haunted
potatoes aren’t even real
— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) August 2, 2016
Source: Dream ghoul
You might think leaves are just “falling” from trees, but the trees are actually throwing them at us because humans are garbage.
— elizabeth williams (@Elizasoul80) October 11, 2016
Source: Elizabeth williams
5. Moral dilemmas…
I thought I was a good person until my daughter asked me, “Would you step on a dog for 8 million dollars?”
— Hi, it’s Abby. Yep. ⚪️ (@abbycohenwl) October 6, 2016
Source: Hi, it’s Abby. Yep.
6. Well, it’s a catchy song
Gandalf: this is my fight song
Boromir: not again
Gandalf: Gandalf the White song
— the library haunter 🦉🎄❄ (@SketchesbyBoze) September 20, 2016
Source: The library haunter
7. Any avocado lover knows the struggle
Avocado: not ripe
Avocado: not ripe
Avocado: not ripe
Avocado: I’M RIPE NOW
Avocado: okay you were in the bathroom so I rotted
— Elspeth Eastman (@ElspethEastman) September 18, 2016
Source: Elspeth Eastman
8. Come on, it’s Rihanna. Of course, she could be that funny!
this man is so sprung, ain’t nothing in the world she could say that could be that funny. pic.twitter.com/DZYgMgU0O0
— melisandre (@_NoxyT) September 1, 2016
9. You ever wonder how Siri feels?
SIRI: Turn left in 100 feet
ME: [drives past turn]
SIRI: [exhales loudly in exasperation]
— batkaren (@batkaren) September 1, 2016
10. Very sound logic on her part…
If I could have dinner with anybody living or dead I’d pick the dead guy. Then I’d order two dinners and eat both. Fuck that guy. He’s dead
— beth, an alien® (@bourgeoisalien) August 31, 2016
Source: Beth, an alien®
11. You need a little more practice, I think…
So I’m being a chef on snapchat & this happens 🙄 pic.twitter.com/VxoG0siBfI
— Ming 🌻♑️ (@ImNotABarbiie) August 29, 2016
12. I agree.
I’ve always felt like cantaloupe and watermelon are boyfriend and girlfriend. if u disagree w this statement I hope u fall down a well
— Tamara Yajia (Babe Vigoda) (@DancesWithTamis) August 26, 2016
Source: Tamara Yajia (Babe Vigoda)
13. I’ve stopped. I’ll finish this article later…
Stop what you’re doing and look at this dog. pic.twitter.com/p4aTw7Arm4
— Tenacious Grace (@TenaciousGrace) August 23, 2016
Source: Tenacious Grace
14. I’m sorry people laughed t it…
I call my vagina “New Yorker cartoon” because it’s dry and a handful of people have laughed at it
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) October 16, 2016
Source: Megan Amram
15. …lizard on a chair!
Whoa, we’re halfway there…
— Periwinkle Jones (@peachesanscream) August 22, 2016
Source: Periwinkle Jones
16. Beats Romeo & Juliet any day.
If you encounter a bear DON’T RUN. Maintain eye contact. Keep maintaining it. Fall in love. Marry the bear. Tell story to your grandbearbies
— Jurassica Fox (@HelloJessicaFox) August 8, 2016
Source: Jurassica Fox
17. So would I.
if this cat told me to murder someone I would pic.twitter.com/A8WMq514Jv
— titless wonder (@joanofdarkness) August 6, 2016
Source: Titless wonder