Let’s keep it real! Love is not a goal you achieve and leave somewhere locked in a room of your oblivion. As you’re gardening, analogies to relationships and marriages can pop into your mind, and then you realize it really takes time to grow a garden. As I talk of garden, I consider ‘love’ the epitome of it. Doesn’t love need constant nourishment, light, water, effort? Just like a garden? You know the answer.
We may know what love tastes like, but knowing how to love and be loved is a bit more complicated than our culture or Hollywood movies tell. Obstacles, which you didn’t even know existed may appear along the way, and if you and your partner decide to work on your relationship, your strong bond will overcome whatever barrier comes ahead.
There is one couple in particular that have gone through all this; the singer Nick and his model and TV personality wife, Vanessa Lachey. They have been married for seven years and share three children. However, getting there and making it stick was quite a battle.
Before tying the knot with Vanessa, Nick was married to Jessica Simpson for three years. Jessica was only 22 when she married Lachey, who was seven years older than her, and presumably, it was the difference between them who lead to their break up.
Back in 2006, Nick said, “I certainly hope I’m not gonna be the jerk-uncle-bachelor the rest of my life. That’s not what I envisioned for myself.”
After his breakup, Nick started working on songs “What’s Left of Me,” “I Can’t Hate You Anymore,” and “Outside Looking In.” Vanessa, who just ended an off-on relationship with baseball player Derek Jeter, was part of in the music video for “What’s Left of Me.” That’s when the first sparks started. However, the contentious divorce between Nick and Simpson was still going on, so it was not the right time for a new serious start. Vanessa even praised Nick for choosing to open up about his heartache. At that time, Vanessa was also working as an Entertainment Tonight correspondent at the time, so it’s a no-no for journalists to become part of the story they are reporting on. But Selena once told us, “The heart wants what it wants.”
Nick’s divorce was finalized in June, and rumors about his close relationship with Vanessa started circling around. After things between them have gotten serious, and the couple flew to Mexico to celebrate their first anniversary, pictures of them in a hot tub leaked out.
Regarding this, back in 2007, Nick told OK!, “This is the girl that I love. It’s tough to see someone you care about being unfairly judged. It’s hard for me as a man to see my girl go through that. Everybody said it was a scandal. Where’s the scandal? I was in Mexico with my girlfriend of a year, celebrating our anniversary on a private vacation. It’s not like I was caught with a Mexican hooker.”
While, Vannesa said, “It was embarrassing. But we have done nothing wrong.”
Despite the close relationship they built, they weren’t looking yet to get to the ‘M’ word. “The ‘M’ word has been mischief lately! No, we’re enjoying each other’s company and we’re very happy, but we’re not looking too far ahead. The future will be what it will be. We’ll see where it goes,” Nick told the magazine.
But, in June 2009 she and Nick had amicably split up and are on good terms. But, after spending a summer away from each other, they got back together. Nick spoke for Us Weekly, saying, “We’re trying to figure things out. I don’t pretend to know what the future holds, but everything’s good. Vanessa’s a good girl, and I care about her a lot.” According to him, Vanessa is “a very smart girl. She’s far smarter than I.”
By the next year, they decided to get engaged. “We’re excited and incredibly happy about our engagement and we look forward to a wonderful future together,” they said. They realized their bond is strong enough to make the next step; the’ word. They said their nuptial vows on July 15, 2011, on Richard Branson’s Necker Island.
Their family started growing after welcoming son Camden in 2012, daughter Brooklyn in 2015 and son Phoenix in 2016. They still managed to hold on their careers and take care of their family. Having spent all these years together, they have opened up about the challenges a couple faces to keep a successful marriage. On their seventh anniversary, Nick told ET how being committed to one another and working together to maintain a healthy marriage, have helped them stay together all these years. According to him, they always nourished the time spent together, not letting a dull moment enter their house:
Any marriage is challenging – it’s certainly not a walk in the park, but we’re very committed to each other and to working through those challenges and I’m very confident there’s nothing we can’t get past. I don’t know if there’s any truth in the seven-year itch. We’ve always found a way to keep it interesting. We’ve been together 12 years, have a beautiful family and are very blessed, and there’s just never a dull moment around this house.
On the other hand, Vanessa said that through all these years, there are many things which have changed in her life and personality. Having this in mind, she doesn’t expect Nick to be telepathic and read her mind, without her having to tell him anything.
Things that were important to me and that I loved and let Nick know about when we first started dating are different now. My priorities and life have changed, so things that I would seek in our relationship are different now, and how is he supposed to assume that? There’s some truth to the whole Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, so I don’t expect him to be a mind reader. I constantly keep him abreast of everything and vice versa.
May your love be nourished this way for a very, very long time!
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