If you are in a long-term relationship which ends, either suddenly or gradually, it’s natural to feel empty, lost, or confused for a while. A person who you’ve been extremely close to, psychologically, spiritually, and physically is gone from your life, and even if they were toxic or not quite right for you, they will leave an empty space behind which will be noticeable and difficult to fill. Similar to when you extract a tooth, and your tongue keeps poking at the empty space, knowing something’s missing.
Some try to get over the heartbreak by keeping themselves busy, getting a new hobby, anything to keep your mind off it until the heartbreak has run its course. Others might try to quickly jump back into the dating scene, sometimes too quickly. And a getting into a new rushed relationship too soon is just a way of getting your heart broken again.
But on the other hand, maybe the new person you’re meeting is worth giving a shot to. But still, even if the other person is right for you, the timing might not be, so it’s good to sit down and evaluate how you’re feeling, and deciding if maybe you’re rushing into a relationship before you’re ready. Of course, every person is different, but here are a few things that could be an indicator that you’re starting a new relationship a bit too soon:
1. You constantly compare your new partner to your ex
Every person is different and unique, with their good sides and their individual flaws so every relationship will inevitably be just as different and unique. But if you find yourself constantly comparing your new SO with your ex, and holding them as a sort of standard then maybe you’re not ready to move on yet.
2. You haven’t learned from your mistakes
Maybe there’s a reason your old relationship didn’t work, and maybe that’s down to your ex’s actions, but it could also be your own. If you find yourself repeating the same patterns and mistakes, then maybe you should take some time to be alone before hurting both yourself and your new partner.
3. You still can’t stop talking about your ex
Constantly talking about them means they are still on your mind, even if all the talking you’re doing is negative, not mopey or heartbroken. You will only know you’re over them when you think (and talk) about them less and less.
4. You still say you hate them
Similarly, if you still have negative feelings about your ex and they’re still very present in your daily life, it means you might still not have gotten over them. It’s unfair to bring that into a new relationship. As they say, the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference. If you hate them, you still have feelings about them.