If you are happy in your relationship and crazily in love, the thought of breaking up never even crosses your mind, which is why it comes as a blow to the face if your partner breaks up with you. “I never saw this coming,” you may say, or “he/she never gave any signs”. While in some cases it may be true that there are no outward signs leading up to a break-up, in more cases than not, it’s the opposite.
No one really decided they will break up with someone right on the spot, for no reason. Breakup happens as a result of a lack of interest, a loss of attraction, or a falling out of love. People change, their interests change, and they may realize they want different things out of life than they did when they met you.
So, your partner may begin to change their behavior, even unconsciously, when they are no longer fully invested in your relationship, and this usually comes with a number of warning signs. Of course, every person and every relationship is different, so there is no default for these kinds of things, but it usually revolves around some of the following:
1. You feel something isn’t quite right
If your instincts are telling you that something in your relationship has shifted and isn’t quite right anymore, they may be right. We need to learn to pay more importance to our gut feeling.
However, make sure that it really is your instincts and you haven’t made up scenarios in your head by overthinking.
2. Their priorities shift
Everyone has different priorities, and sometimes things just happen that make it seem as though you and your significant other are prioritizing different things, but it may not be the case. For example, if you are tough on money and your boyfriend decides to take a few extra hours in the office instead of seeing you, then that’s really not something to make a big deal over. But if he (or she) starts to make you feel like you’re coming in second to everything in their life, then it could be an indicator of a bigger issue.
3. You are communicating less and less
The key to a good relationship is good communication. And if your partner makes you feel like you can’t be completely open with your opinions any more, gives the impression that they are not talking to you enough. Or, they are not interested to talk to you, and you always feel like you’re walking on eggshells around each other, your relationship could be declining.
4. You’re being less intimate
Intimacy in a relationship is just as important as communication, and if interest in a sexual relationship starts declining, they could also be losing their interest in you.
5. They stop putting effort into the relationship
Relationships are about compromise and give and take, and most importantly, about hard work. If your partner starts to not put any effort in making your relationship work, whether that’s a compromise, or a small changed habit, then it may mean they don’t really care whether or not it works out.
6. They go out and don’t include you
That doesn’t mean that every time your partner goes out with friends and you can’t tag along is a red flag. We all have our lives outside of the relationship. However, if you start to feel like your partner prefers to spend time with other people rather than with you, then maybe they do…
7. You are not included in their plans for the future
If they start making major plans for the future that don’t include you, it may mean they have decided they don’t see you in it – even if it’s subconsciously.
8. They are paying less attention to you
If you start feeling like nearly everything in their life interests them more than you do, and they are paying you less and less attention it could indicate that they aren’t really that bothered in trying to keep you around any longer.
9. Everything seems to turn into a fight
If they are thinking about breaking up, and the effort they put into a relationship is declining, then they may no longer care about trying to avoid unnecessary fights. This one goes hand in hand with bad communication.
10. The bad days outweigh the good ones
If your partner is making you feel bad more often than they are making you happy (as it should be in a relationship), then something is ultimately wrong in the relationship.
Even though you may spot signs your partner has lost interest, or may have fallen out of love, don’t just jump the gun and act on impulse. If you believe they are acting differently and are giving signs they want to break up, address whatever is worrying you. Ask them whether they think you are okay in the relationship. As I said, communication is key, so don’t be the one to stop talking.